youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
