it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize