I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
