i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
