At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need a beard to bite.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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