can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
