Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
