I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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