Soap is not a condiment
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
