So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
