Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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