Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
