Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
