Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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