wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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