party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
