The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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