I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
