apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
