I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the day after is always just damage control
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
