I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
