Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
