Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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