Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
