Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize