cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
