shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
