And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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