My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
