If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
