1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize