if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
