I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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