I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The air was thick with penises
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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