we're blogging at a bar
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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