The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize