On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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