She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
