So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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