she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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