There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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