Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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