you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize