How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
