Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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