I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
