We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
