Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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