I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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