your thong is hanging out like whoa
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
