pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
