watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
