I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
