bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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