I love black thongs
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
