Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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