I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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