I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
there is puke in my bra ... again
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