CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize