I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
