She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
