absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
