that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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