Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
