White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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