so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
