So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
