I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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