Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
