I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize