She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
worst night to have a conscience
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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